My perfect day

My perfect day would be a little like this:

Waking up in my big fluffy bed by the morning sun coming through my 10' tall large windows in my brick interior loft downtown. Getting up and going for a crisp run followed by heading to The Avenues Bakery for a delicious breakfast in the warm sun where I sit and eat my rosemary toast, sip hot chocolate and read the City Weekly.

Unfortunately, I don't have my big fluffy bed anymore, and the sun never quite comes through my window seeming how I don't live in a loft but rather in my parents basement. And you can forget about that whole thing about a crisp run, I stopped doing that since the day I ran the SLC half marathon and cried the entire last 3 miles (except for when I saw a camera man, then I was all smiles). The Avenues Bakery has since closed leaving me no warm sun to sit in and no delicious rosemary toast to eat with gourmet hot chocolate to sip.

So really the only thing I can do and enjoy is reading the City Weekly, more importantly, their Newsquirks that just make me laugh.

Here are a few for your reading pleasure:

If the Briefs Don’t Fit, You Must Acquit
Dhirendra Kamdar escaped a death sentences for drug trafficking, even though Indian police in Mumbai testified they caught him carrying four 500-gram bags of heroin in his underpants while walking 1 kilometer to catch a taxi. Kamdar’s lawyer, Ayaz Khan, argued that no one could have walked about half a mile while concealing roughly 4.5 pounds in his underwear and demonstrated his theory using bags of sugar. The court agreed.

Curses, Foiled Again
Police said that Enrique Vega Jr., 29, used a screwdriver to rob a Mexican restaurant in Fresno, Calif., then made his getaway on a bicycle. He crashed, however, impaling himself on the screwdriver, which severed an artery in his thigh, and he bled to death.

When Guns Are Outlawed
A Russian woman killed her husband with a sofa bed. St. Petersburg’s Channel Five reported the woman was upset because the husband wouldn’t get up, so she kicked a handle that folds the bed into a couch. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, where, emergency workers said, he died instantly.

Mainstreaming
A Finnish theater group staged the world’s first “deaf opera,” where singers use sign language instead of voices. Unlike sung opera where interpreters sign on the side of the stage, performers at Theatre Totti, located on Finland’s Aland islands, sign rather than sing and use body language and facial expressions for emphasis and nuance. For this summer’s engagement of 19th-century Finnish composer Fredrik Pacius’s “The Hunt of King Charles,” two musicians provided the score for the hearing, and sur-titles aided those unable to understand the signed libretto. “Usually when you go to the theater, the show itself is the message,” signer Kolbrun Volkudottir, who performed the soprano role of Leonora the fisherwoman, told Reuters news agency. “In this case, the most important message was to show that deaf people can do opera.”

Haa ha haa haaa!

Who's up for joining me this saturday? :)