.....that life has been crazy lately.
Not only has it been stressful, busy, tiresome, and up in the air, I have also been in a funk and trying to sort things out. You could say that I've masked this all by conveniently being out of town-A LOT, thus allowing myself to not show any emotion in front of you all, which may be the case, but I would also like to say, I've just learned to put on a happy face and roll with the punches.
One thing that I have learned over the years (2-3 to be exact) is that it's OK to be a girl: to show emotion.
To let others in, to share with them my life, my stories, my ups and downs, my trials and my dreams.
I was talking with a really close friend of mine. She and I have been through a lot together. Shared a lot with each other and have been the counter balance to one another. After talking about what was going on, she told me I had to email her a list of specific things.
This is the email I sent but I would like to address it to all of you who have been a big part of my life.
Well, I think this is the part where I let you all into my life: this is the real me, nothing left to hide.
Friends,
Ok, so I know it's been a few (too many) weeks since you asked for this but i've had to do a lot of thinking.
It's easy to put something like this together when things are going for you in your life. When the sun is shining and you skip with a step. However, the best lists are the ones you give when you have nothing to give at all. When you are trying to climb out of the deep hole you have found yourself in, when you're the only one with a constant rain cloud over head, you have to walk to the grocery store to buy your weeks worth of food in the rain and on the way home, all your bags break.
So here it is. The things i'm grateful for:
Friends: the ones who sit with you on your bed in your parents basement and cry with you and share their spiritual experiences that helped them get through the same situation. The friend who calls you from thousands of miles away because she's been worried about you and will help you talk things through. The ones who are balanced when you are not, so they can be the ones to console you, give you kind words of hope, and who will hold your hair as you purge the sadness you have built up inside.
Family: to have them close and to listen to me. To have such a strong bond where we are more than siblings, we are best friends. I can talk to them and they know just what to say or do. To spend time with and laugh when things are funny, cry when someone is sad, and be there for each other no matter what. Nephew's who know how fun it is to scare me. Nieces who get so excited when they see me and want to give me more hugs than I could ever imagine and to see so much love come from such a little person.
This Country: For the freedom we have been given, the efforts of our founding fathers who were inspired and guided by our Heavenly Father who has preserved this land. A land of opportunity. An open road. From California to the New York Island, from the lakes of Minnesota to the hills of Tennessee....."almost heaven, West Virginia. Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River..." The vast diversity of one country and the beauty in every little detail.
Health: To be blessed with a "strong physical body and sound mind." One in which I can take care of through proper food and nutrition, rest, relaxation and exercise. To be able to allow my spirit to reside and have control in my temple and not let my physical needs overcome what my spirit needs. Having control of my desires and appetites.
The Gospel: To have an understanding of Gods plan. Why we are here. What we are to do. And that we can get through anything when we put our trust in the Lord. That we chose to come down here, to learn and grow, to get a physical body that was necessary. That through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be forgiven of our mistakes and have our garments washed clean. To have living prophets here to guide and direct us and to be the voice of the Lord to his people. To have the keys of the priesthood restored. Temples, beautiful, Holy Temples. The clear understanding that comes in the simplest form through the temples of what our role is here on earth and the powerful knowledge of the covenants and promises we have made. The power of prayer: to be able to speak to my Heavenly Father anytime time I want. To tell him my thoughts, my heart, my sadness, my happiness, and to ask for his help and guidance. To have his spirit with me to guide and direct me in my daily life. To protect me, to comfort me, to succor me. The scriptures to receive the answers to my prayers. To give me the council I seek for, to teach me things that will help me in my time of need and to show me how to live my life. The knowledge I have that my Heavenly Father knows me, knows my heart, and loves me.
Education: The schooling and education I have received to prepare and qualify me for a good job. The knowledge and ability to be good at what I do. The skills and talents I have developed and have been given. The opportunity to finish college and develop those skills needed and enhance the talent I didn't know I had. The opportunity to keep learning and seeking out the things I didn't know I could love.
Travel: The opportunities I have been given to travel and see so many different places, countries, people in this world. More than I can count on two hands. For airplanes that can take me places faster so I can enjoy more. For cars to get around in and run quick errands. Visit friends and family quicker and more often. Motorcycles, the open road, and my safe haven to clear my head and take in the beauty that is around me on the rides. Bicycles that are more fun than motorcycles because you get to enjoy the silence around you and the only thing you can hear is the giggling little girl in your heart. Bike rides with friends, jumping the bumps, riding around the streets and getting hosed by some lady watering her lawn, watching friends scurry across the street......haa ha ha haaaa! Roller skates, because they are just fun! Getting out and seeing what the world has to offer and not being distracted by the fast paced life that buzzes by too quickly.
Women: I'm grateful for the women in my life, past and present. For my grandma's who have taught me how to be kind and loving. For my mom who has shown me how to serve, how to love, and how to prepare one serious food storage. For my sisters, my friends, and all the women around me who respect their god given divinity and duty to raise and care for the future generations of this country and this gospel. To attain in raising righteous sons and daughters who will fight the war against Satan and be valiant like Helaman's army. To be examples to their children or the children around them, showing them what righteous women in the gospel look like. To those who live everyday preparing to be the wife and mother that they pray to be and developing talents and habits that will benefit their future family.
Men: For their manliness. Their protection. Their priesthood. Their council. To see them going to the temple on their own, to receive guidance and direction. Seeing pictures of Christ in their rooms, and know that they are living worthily and doing all they can to serve our Heavenly Father. Upholding their callings and seeing them pass the sacrament, knowing they are worthy to do so.
Talents: For the talents I have been given. The Gifts I have that are to help others. The opportunities to use what Heavenly Father has given me to benefit his children and to reach out to those in need. To be able to use my talents in a way where I can be an instrument in Gods hands.
There are so many more things i'm grateful for that I could name, like pizza, coke, warm rain, herbal tea and cozy blankets, etc. but those are all menial when compared to the things that REALLY mean something to me. The big things that make all the other things seem like little blessings that act as reminders from Heavenly Father that he listens, he loves me, and to just hang on a little bit longer.
I love you, and couldn't be more GRATEFUL for you than I am right now. Thank you for the nights of laughter. The long talks. The comfort it brings me to know that no matter how our conversations start, where they go, they always come back to the gospel. THAT is true friendship, encircling myself with righteous women who love the gospel and have a personal relationship with Heavenly Father. Thank you for your examples. Your love, your smiles, your energy and enthusiasm.
xoxo
Kristy
