Friday, March 14, 2008

Across the Universe- that's one trip I will never take again.....

So everybody, grab a doobie, light it up, and be sure to inhale because that's the only thing that will make this movie worth sitting through.

My sisters and I have a thing where if we see a bad movie, we will actually encourage them to go see it simply for the fact that "I alone should not be the only one who wasted 2 hours of my life." We won't give anything away just that "YOU HAVE TO GO SEE IT!" Examples to this are Message in a Bottle, Unbreakable, and The Perfect Storm.

But I in good conscience can NOT allow another human, sober or high, to waste 2 1/2 hours of their life that could be better used on clipping their toe nails and creating braille art for an organization aimed at empowering the blind.

In fact being blind would have made this movie better because the only real quality it held was a soundtrack based on songs from the Beatles. I wanted to poke my EYES out with each scene that had no relevance to the basis of any character in this movie or in my life for that matter.

"Hey Bono, thanks for the cameo-koo koo kachu" but could that really have been Robin Williams because I couldn't tell.

My sister rented it at the recommendation of one of her young women. We should have known better coming from a girl who is clearly smok'n the doobie and for that matter so is the Hollywood Video clerk who told her it too was a really good movie. I think that with each rental of this movie there ought to be a stash of weed, rolling paper, and a roach clip inside the case because that's how you'll get through the movie and it's WAY worth the $5 you paid to rent the stupid show.

So for all you out there lookin' for a reason to have the munchies, may I suggest you go see Across the Universe. I'm thinking about doing a remake entitled A Cross in my Purse: a docu-drama about pot smoking nuns asking each other "how do you solve a problem like Maria?" No one really makes outfits out of drapes unless you are high and everyone knows Edelweiss is Austrian for weed.

7 comments:

Glady said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. im laughing because I can actually hear you saying "grab a doobie, light it up, and be sure to inhale"

I've also been told that this movie is supposed to be really good, but I've never seen it. I'm glad I know I can use 2 and a half hours of my life doing something else productive.

<3 you.

Margot said...

oh my gosh i am laughing so hard right now. this is like the most hilarious thing i have ever read. i especially love the part about the sound of music.

Anonymous said...

Dude, this is Stephanie Glady's roomie and she made me read this and I barely got through it because I was laughing so hard. Why are you not a movie critic/ stand up comedian? Become one or the other hahaha. Miss you man!

Steph said...

guess who rented this movie a few weeks ago and after 30 minutes turned it off and decided to do something productive with my..i mean..her...life.

dude. i totally feel you.

David said...

So you're saying don't watch this movie?

Loved the critique. And totally agree with the other Steph...I'll come to you next time I'm debating whether or not to see a movie. Who needs Roper & Ebert when we've got Uzi?

--dave

the New Mom said...

Dude......are you gonna give me a get out of jail/bish card for smok'n the doobie! (Dare to dream!)

I CAN NOT BELIEVE that I made it on to your list of "People I Love"! Yipee-Yi-O-Ki-Ya! (I realizie that bringing this to your attention could get me off the list! But i just feel kinda famous!)

You are so dang witty and darling! I love your snink'n guts! xoxoxoAIM

the New Mom said...

Oh....ps....please be careful how you reference "The Sound of Music".....because I was in the play in high school and we didn't smoke very much weed at all. I mean......I really shouldn't have because I had some seriously important lines........ you'll probably remember the one.....where Frau Schmidt enters stage right and boldly proclaims, "Captain VonTrap......you have a phone call in the parlor." Anyway that was me.....and well.......like I said...we didn't smoke that much weed.