Today didn't turn out as planned

And neither did this first date.
Glad it wasn't me, and glad it brought a smile to my face
and a laughter in my voice!

Recently posted on craigslist In the Portland area To the woman that crapped in my car. ( NE Portland ) We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you. At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost.. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive. I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat... What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract. I await your call, Tad P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. Touché

ROAR!

I have a tendency to scare people.......mainly little kids. I don't know what it is about jumping out from around the corner on the unsuspected tikes that cracks me up, luckily they get a laugh out of it too. My niece and nephew in CA know that when Kristy comes, "she scares us........she's funny."

So now that they are getting older, I have to be more cleaver. I can no longer hide around the corner or behind the door. They are on to the "go get your shirt out of the dryer", and so I have to sharpen my skills. I need to pull out the tricks I used on my sisters growing up like hide behind the bed (that will teach her to pray with the door open) or hide in the linen closet and do the "dead mans roll" (think the freezer part in Goonies) as they open it to get out a towel. However, if I did that, they wouldn't be able to catch my fall.

Luckily I found this sweet item by Eiko Ishizawa. You know I'm going to pull this out the next time we go up to the camp site for foil dinners and s'mores. Not to mention it will keep me warm! :) I'm not a huge fan of camping, aka- playing homeless in the woods, but I think this just might change my mind!

Plus if my camping adventure is anything like last time where I stayed up for 2 hours because we saw a bear, I will be ok because bears won't eat other bears, especially if they are in the process of eating a human!


BRILLIANT!

MD more than made up for it!

Today was just one of those days.
Made the Coke, Symphony Bar,
and Butt Rock Hair Band playlist on
Pandora seem so worth it!

Tonight made everything seem to disappear.
It was a little something like this quote
a good friend sent me today. (love you feffy)

There comes a time in life
when you have to let go of
all the pointless drama
& the people who create it
& surround yourself with
people who make you laugh
so hard that you forget
the bad and focus solely
on the good. After all,
life is too short to be
anything but happy.


i am happy

Chocolat

I went to Hatch Family Chocolates for by far the BEST hot chocolate ever.
Now I can honestly say I am a connoisseur of the fine hot beverage and even frequent the Startbucks and Beans & Brews about twice a week. I even have my own concoction that I've mastered.
But Hatch's, now there is one fine beverage that doesn't need any changes made whatsoever.
It's not your ordinary steamed milk with chocolate added, it's back to the basics. Pure melted chocolate with some milk added.
Talk about "choco-river!" If I didn't drink it with the lid on, I would have had the nicest choco-stache ever made!


And to top it off, I got a turtle that i've been craving ever since! I mean check out that caramel! And the nougat, HELLO! :)

Seriously people, it's amazing and if any of you want to venture there to try it out, call me. If you have been and are craving it like I am, pick me up!

I will have to warn you: If you don't eat pure chocolate very much, myself included, you may find yourself with a sugar high or headache later on in the day, like I did. But I tell you what, it is WAY worth it.

I'm afraid that if I go back i'll hear in the back of my mind, "Augustus, save some room for later!"