I Want To Ride My Bicycle

So not only is it the last day of the month but it also happens to be the last FRIDAY of the month. What does this mean?

CRITICAL MASS


So what is it? In short it's a little something like this:
People on bikes + occupying the roads so cars can't move = Critical Mass

Literally, thousands of bikers protesting cars and motorized vehicles. Team Zundelac even sacrificed bodies and rental bikes by placing ourselves in front of cars so they couldn't move just so the herd of bikers could roll on.

By far one of the many great things I participated in while in SF and I'm so excited to see that SL is following the lead-happy day!
Tam, I think this calls for us pulling out THE bike and showing the city what we (you, me, and Lilly) are made of!

Tag Team Back Again......

That's right, i've been tagged. What does this mean. It means the OCD in me won't let me go to bed until I get this done!
A- Attached or single: Single handedly avoiding those that want to be attached to me.
B- Best Friend: Too many to list but they are all fabulous!
C- Cake or Pie: Baskin Robins Ice Cream CAKE all the way!
D- Day of Choice: Saturday because I can do whatever I want- sleep in, brunch with my girl, the gym, shop, maybe a movie, and anything else I feel like doing.
E- Essential item: Lip shmoo, can't live without it!
F- Favorite color: Red.......or pink. It's close so it counts
G- Gummi bears or worms: Not much of a Gummi gir. More of a Care Bare Stare girl.
H- Hometown:I was born in Sandy, Utah but spent most of my adolescent years in St. Charles Missouri-aww yea!
I- Indulgence: Aveda hair products, Seven Jeans, Anthropologie, my 4" heels and Ruth's Chris Steak House
J- January or July: July....i'm sick of the snow and cold weather!
K- Kids: not that I know of but someday.
M- Marriage date: Well first I need a Date date
N- Number of siblings: 4: 3 older sisters and 1 older brother.
O- Oranges or Apples: I actually just asked myself this today. As much as I love Fuji apples with Gouda cheese, I will have to opt for Oranges right now. Mmmm Mmmmm
P- Phobias: Not sure if it's a phobia but things I don't like: being chased up the stairs-I get "scary movie syndrome every time" and having my back facing crowds or people. For example, when I am at a restaurant, I HAVE to sit against the wall and face out so I can see everyone and everything. You know that feeling in your back/spine when you see a spider, I get that when I can't see what's going on behind me.
Q- Quote: "the church is true!"
R- Reason to smile: because frowning is ugly
S- Season: Spring: I love new life and the fact that winter is over and summer is coming.
T- Tag Six: Haaaa, suckers: Heidikins, Steph, Gladys, Erica, Tammy and Rebecca (that's right, that means you have to finally start your blog!)
U- Unknown fact about me: Depends on who's asking. It could be that I was originally left handed as a child or wasn't born with the name I have now but for those of you who do know those things, here's one for you: I don't like animals-they smell!
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: As much as I love eating healthy, I love a delicious juicy STEAK so much more!
W- Worst habit: I poke my lips-something i've done since I was 5. I procrastinate but i'll get better at it.......later. And I have bad eating habits-I enjoy food too much!
X- X-Rays or ultrasounds: Well let's see, the times i've had x-rays, I was half naked. Then again, 5 minutes later I had an ultrasound and I don't like that goo they put on you. So i'll opt for X-Ray.
Y- Your favorite food: I don't have a favorite. San Francisco had too many varieties of ethnic foods so i've become a fan of a lot. My top three could be Sushi, Thai-not indian, and everything in between. :)
Z- Zodiac: Sagittarius- that's right, i'm a party person!

ok, now that's complete, I can finally go to bed. See you in 4 hours.

Happy Valentines Day!

I just wanted to show some LOVE.......if you know what I mean....on this fabulous day!

I know most of you have seen this before but come on people, you can't honestly tell me you don't die laughing everytime.

If you have someone, give them lot's of kisses. If you feel alone don't worry,

"someday love will find you"

(p.s. make sure you pause the music playing down on the right)

Man that's funny!

Knock Knock, Who's There.......

Well ladies, it's that time of the year where we get to be thankful for NOT dating this guy.....

May I introduce to you Bobbie Butronic.......hopefully NOT your future boyfriend!

Dare I?

So I was talking to a good friend tonight about life and love and what not. Well, by the time we finished our stories and our laughs, I felt myself sink as I realized I got suckered into a bet that sounds more like a dare. I can't really explain what the bet is but what I will tell you is that if I lose, I have to wear my hair like this while I teach GD in front of 100 people.

P.S. I HATE UTAH HAIR!

p.s.s. I love you lil' pz

Reality Check

What could be worse?

A. Going to a funeral on a Friday night
B. Going to a funeral on a Friday night and it turning into a reunion of people you grew up with
C. Going to a funeral on a Friday night and it turning into a reunion of people you grew up with, including your Junior Prom Date, in which you realize of all the people you are seeing you are the only one of your friends who is still single
or
D. To escape the questions of "why are you not married?" or "I can't believe some guy hasn't snatched you up yet" you head home only to be reminded that you live in the basement of your parent's condo with your 34 year old brother who is phlirting (phone flirting) with some girl from Arkansas.
The only thing that could complete that is if the "condo" were DOWN BY THE RIVER!

"But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself.......That's fantastic!"

What I really want to say is

"GET THAT CORN OUTTA MY FACE!"

Don't worry, I wouldn't change anything about my past one bit and at the rate I'm going, the future's lookin' so bright, I gotta wear shades! I'm just glad I can actually laugh about this.

Uzi-humor

Just so you know that my humor runs blood deep, here is a conversation between my sisters and some friends. I think you can pick out a true Uzi....

T:
so a small and petite sister in my ward e-mailed me asking if I wanted to take a ballet class with her. Here is my response:Ballet huh? I would like to refer you to Single Tam cir 1996 when she enrolled herself into a ballet class at BYU for an "easy" credit. The REQUIRED Dress for this class was: pink tights, black leotard and ballet flats pink or black. Not even a little skirt or a flashdance off the shoulder t-shirt. I enjoyed the class-particularly the part where I am surrounded by mirrors and the only thing I could semi hide behind was the bar or the only other girl in the class who was a little bit chubbier than me. But the best day of the class was when he had to practice our leaps across the room. We all lined up single file and each of us took a turn ALONE. I am going to go ahead and give you a visual: do you recall the movie Fantasia? Do you remember the part where the hippo and the alligator dance? You do? well let's just say that the alligator isn't me. :) Do I want to take a ballet class? About as bad as I want to have my legs in stirrups and hearing a man say "a little closer to the edge please." hahaWhen's the class? I'll do it only if we can wear sweats, a nice parka and some socks.

L:
Again, this is nothing but funny.
I needed an out loud hearty laugh tonight.
I owe you!!

D:
HAA HAA HAA...man i love you! talk about keepin it real!

K:
I don't know what could be worse........you in a leotard with your ladies leaping or me in a harness 20 feet above ground saying "listo" to some half naked, buff, stranger swinging on a stick while thinking to myself, "there's no freakin' way he's gonna catch me let alone be able to hold onto me" as i'm frantically applying more chalk to my wrists.
The only good thing about him actually catching me, and when I say good, I actually mean- "bishop, we need to talk", is the fact that I am able to recognize that no man will ever make me feel like I weigh 5 pounds and that he isn't sweating or wincing one bit while still looking HOT with his bulging bicepts and ripped abs..........which means when he says release, i pretend like I don't hear him so I can cling to that feeling just a few seconds longer.

R:
Thanks again for that great visual. Not only do I recall those days but particularly the day when you came home in your "dress code" outfit and tried showing me your moves that you had to do in class. You blamed in on our family's genetics of poor hip flexers but maybe the tights were just too small. Didn't you also try to put your hair in a bun for the full effect?

Need I say it's Uzelicious?

If only I could speak my mind more often

This is what I would really say!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: And you don't have a recommend.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Hey, i'm just keeping it real! ~Uzi

Really?........Really

This has to be by far the best thing I have seen in a long time.
Makes me laugh every time!
And Yes, I received this at work the other day.

All I can say is "REALLY?"

Totally Uzelicious!

Time to Get Away

I want a vacation
I want time to think
I want to be where it's warm
I want to be in a hammock
I want to smell like Banana Boat SPF 15
I want a fruit drink with an umbrella
I want to live in my swim suit
I want to feel sun kissed
I want to get away

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So my sisters and I, being the inappropriate Uzi's that we are, have always had a saying/motto for the year. Some have given us hope and others have come true. Let me share with you some past years before we bring out this years motto:

Someone to do in 2002
Let it be in 2003
Virgins no more in 2004
Sex is alive in 2005
2000-sex
A little bit of heaven in 2007

and let's bring in the new year with.........

Fornicate in 2008

Happy New Year Everyone!

Real Age

So I took this test today, and I guess I really am as young as I look......or act.

23

Feel the Same

Life isn’t a straight line.

It’s not even squiggly.

It’s more like what that kid on The Ring drew on his papers -

an endless stream of papers with scribbled rings

with little rips where the pen tore through from the pressure.

That's a Good Idea!

Your life is an occasion,

RISE TO IT!

A Good Laugh

I was in SF this weekend and haven't laughed this continually in a long time. Such a good weekend! So let me just share with you some of the funny things said particularly by one woman.

Woman: "At the time I didn't like the natural man. I don't know if I still do"
Me: "Is this lady married?"
Donna: "No, if she were, she would LOVE the natural man"

Woman: "I didn't want to go Spanish speaking because I don't like Spanish people."

Woman: "She wasn't a member, she was a communist"

Woman: "So we went over to his house because he built a font in his back yard"
Me: "Is that what they call it in Argentina? Here in America it's called a pool."

TRICK or TREAT

Smell my feet, give me something good to eat. If you don't, I don't care, I'll pull down your underware! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I love any holiday where I can dress up! Not only do I love dressing up, so does the rest of my family. Any excuse really is all we need. We'll even dress up just because we can.

Here's to an awesome costume year!

Pre-performance stretches

Chaz Michael Michaels

as the lady at the fabric store said
"her and her 'partner' are going to be Flaming Ice Skaters!"

The Flaming Love Child

Yes, KING SIZE trick or treat candy.
Obviously the coolest house in the neighborhood!

Don't eat too much candy or you'll puke!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Love, UZI

Halloween

It's coming, and apparently, so is easter.

Isn't she Uzelicious!

Today was a GOOD Day

And a much deserved one at that. From start to finish it was a busy day, I mean busy! From 6:30 this morning to about 11:30 tonight. I'd love to tell you every detail but it's too much to write but just know that every moment was amazing.

The best part of the day was when Heidi and I went "running". Heidi and I always have a fun time together so that was a treat in and of itself, but that's only part of it. The weather was perfect so we "ran" around the Avenues which is our favorite area in Salt Lake. The thing I love about the avenues is the houses and the architecture. It's a big reason why I got into the field I am. If I have to stay in Utah for a while, I will be living in the Avenues.

We went by this place that although seems somewhat creepy, it was actually beautiful and calming.


Well we were admiring the houses when we came across this one.


Then we noticed a sign that was on the tree.


So we took an apple and kept on moving. It was so good that we turned around and went back for more. We knocked on the door to see if we could pick a bunch but no one was home and seeing that there were bags next to the tree, I climbed on up and began picking while Heidi stood below and gathered the ones I threw down to her. I mean really, any chance to climb a tree, I'm all over it.

It was a perfect fall day with several events that just made this totally Uzelicious!

For my Little PZ

Cause I don't know what I should do now
When I've exhausted all I know how
Still all of my efforts, they fail me
Leaving me broken and empty
I can't go on, half living this life on my own

Cause I'm hiding behind this smile
No, I haven't come out for awhile
See there is this place so empty inside me
I keep hiding behind this smile

There must be some place warmer then here
Because my teeth just chatter and I live in fear
But every attempt I attempt just impales me
Leaving me broken and empty
And I can't go on, half living this life on my own

Cause I'm hiding behind this smile
No, I haven't come out for awhile
See there is this place so empty inside me
I keep hiding behind this smile
Cause no I'm not okay
No I'm not alright

Cause I'm hiding behind this smile
No, I haven't come out for awhile
See there is this place so empty inside me
I keep hiding behind this smile

Hang in there, things can only get better from where you are. Love you! Uzi

WHAT THE ______ ?

Oh my gosh! Ok i'm not one for words or to write every little detail of the events in my life. I enjoy telling people my stories when the opportunity is there but to have to write it down, that just takes too much time. So instead I am just going to give you CliffsNotes and show you pictures of events.
f you would like to read a great review of last nights events in awesome detail, check out Heidi's blog!

First let me tell you how I got to the events of last night.

I saw that a friend of mine and my sisters was in a fashion show. She is one of the top 3 up and coming designers in Salt Lake and is amazing. Check her out, Riva Juarez. Seriously, she is amazing!

I wanted to check her show out and so I asked Heidi to join me. We get to the Masonic Temple which we have both been fascinated by and end up in VIP seats. Yea, we're that cool!

So we enjoy an awesome, yet some unusual fashions in the show.





Then watch a few short, some what weird, films and take a picture to remember the night.





Then a brief intermission where we DON'T wait in line for food and just walk up to the table, mingle with some people and then get back to our awesome front and center seats to enjoy more movies and fashions.



Then a hypnotist comes and it's just funny. Something else funny was this creepy guy with his shirt half undone sitting in between two half dressed hoochies. I won't even give you the commentary Heidi and I were giving.




Then The Red King began to perform. I am not even going to begin to describe what was going on but this was no "band" or music for that matter. It was just creepy. It's worse than scary music at a haunted house because here it was real! It was some freakish Satanic like ritual where I swear they were going to sacrifice someone in the audience.

And it just gets weirder



And we get more scared



And just freaked out!



I can't even talk about it because it's just too much for my innocent mind to handle. I was completely freaked out and in shock while squeezing Heidi's hand and by the time the "guy" started to chant into the microphone, Heidi and I were out the door faster than you could actually hear any attempt of complete words to come out of his mouth. Seriously it was like a cartoon moment where we moved so fast I swear you could have heard a buzzing noise and a draft blow past the people standing on the side. We got out of the auditorium but that wasn't good enough. We ran past the tables, into the lobby area, out the front doors and down the several stone steps. We couldn't even look back we were too creeped out. We didn't want people to think we were sissies so we walked along the sidewalk to the drive way and around the corner and once we were out of view, we ran all the way to my car screaming at the top of our lungs bloody murder while still holding hands!

We were able to recover over some delicious hot chocolate and Neil Diamond. Yea I know, but it's the only thing that could get our mind off it other than Air Supply but that wasn't coming up on the play list.

Good thing Heidi spent the night because we were still completely freaked out around 4 in the morning when something fell outside my window and Heidi shop up so fast from being dead asleep, it was actually quite funny. And like she said, we never discussed any of the nights happenings while eating breakfast. I don't know if it was because we still didn't want to bring it up or because there were too many interesting things, aka people, going on around us at the Belgium Waffle House.